A cure for jitteriness and bad dreams…

Three cups of coffee in the day is as good as treading water in bed for the night, swimming in place looking for a place called Comfortable, knowing that the letters in ‘please’ can be rearranged to spell ‘asleep’, waking up though you were awake to begin with.

Nights of silly dreams and scary dreams, and recently my sister said ‘stress dreams’ in passing and my ears perked to listen intently as she continued to talk about hers and I suddenly knew the name of mine. If I had tried to tell her about the restlessness in my nightly visions she had been waiting to say she understood, she already knew, probably even before she had coined it for me like before it had been coined for her. I can still smell the coffee wafting from my pores to my nostrils, once a taste, now a smell and still a grittiness on my teeth even after I’ve brushed them and laid down to rest and I know they are clean. Stress dreams…

Laying in bed wondering if I have bed bugs or brought fleas from a neighbors apartment or if the fan is blowing the hair on my arms in ticklish ways, perhaps I’m too warm or maybe the leg sticking out from the covers has grown cold and I should switch it out for the other leg. If I could just get my pillow to lay under me in a position that would angle my neck and back in a way so that they were both aligned simultaneously in a way that was fit for sleep.

Reading a chapter of the short novel by Ray Bradbury that a friend loaned me when I returned the last couple of books I had borrowed and loaned her one in turn, a trilogy actually, one I had already read but would like to read again when she returns them when we swap good reads again. Switching out for another book that I had also borrowed from the same friend but had never gotten around to reading and so hadn’t returned with the others but will surely return the next time after I’ve finished ‘Dandelion Wine’.

A picture of my grandmother framed on the dresser… a picture made of four separate frames glued to poster-board that a friend’s sister made in high school on the same dresser, a dresser scattered with odd items that can’t be called junk but aren’t necessary to set anywhere else… two bikes leaned against each other leaned against a wall hiding a small table with no use but to sit in a corner behind two bikes… clothes that I frequently wear hanging on the handlebars waiting to be swapped out for the sweater or jeans I’d be wearing at the time… a hamper in the corner a quarter full with underwear and socks…

The neighbor through the wall has an alarm that goes off now, is going off now, ten minutes before he has to wake up and begin his day. It will go off for ten minutes before he becomes aware of his surroundings, turns it off. Does he sense in his sleep that not ten feet away a restless and idle writer is writing a few lines describing his morning, every morning, Monday through Friday? Does a light and frantic tapping on a keyboard permeate his dreams… ?

Self-awareness and reproach, a creepy feeling of desperation, a slight unease of delusion as if somehow every soul in the complex could sense at once that someone among them hadn’t been peaceful, drifting easily in lackadaisical laziness with the rest… and everyone knows who it is.


A poem: “Reader”


There is more to understanding
than reading people or situations.
There is an unnamed force that flows around
everything living and nonliving
like the wind flowing through the reeds,
an energy that permeates us,
our pasts, our futures,
that touched our ancestors
and that will touch our children
and their children…

There is an energy that connects us all,
binds us in a great flow
that originates in the soul
and flows from the heart like water,
sometimes a thin trickle,
in times of great emotion
like a raging torrent.

We have all felt it and are affected by it
in great ways. Though some ignore it,
it is always there around us, within us.
Happiness, anger, courage and cowardice –
it encompasses everything we know and feel.
Though we may not always understand it,
it understands us, forgives us, empowers us.

It gives us strength in times of weakness
and consoles us in times of great loss
if only we would open ourselves to it.

Allow yourself to be taken by it
and there will be no force
that can shake your resolve,
nothing to hold you in place
if you chose to press forward.

It is all there, flowing from our hearts.
It is all within, even now,
and always has been.

You must use your heart to acquire
the things that your heart desires –
there is no other way.

Do not fear, for it gives you
the strength to move any obstacle
and overcome any loss.

There is no more or less in any one or the other,
but an equal and inexhaustible measure in us all
that everyone must share.

Open yourself to it.
Eat, drink, breath deeply of it
and nothing will ever displace you
from the path you walk
towards the life you most desire.

I’ve taken to writing reviews… bad ones.

You know what bothers me? Poor service. Not “Oh, they didn’t bring me an extra napkin”, but poor service that really affects my life. I recently reviewed a lawyer who became ruthlessly curt after the money was handed over. Friendly until paid, that was the game. I gave no leeway in my review, stating the facts of the matter. None of them were pretty. That review can be found here: Review on Avvo

Next up was a Counseling Service that seems to still be in the 80’s era of propaganda and ignorance. That review can be found here: Review on Yelp

To say the least, I’m sick and tired of being treated poorly by those I hire, willingly or not. If I give you money for your service, I had damn well better be buying a smile and politeness from you as well. If not, face a poor and permanent review.

My Yelp.com tagline: “Customers shouldn’t fear their businesses. Businesses should fear their customers.”

I recommend others to start reviewing the businesses they deal with. Maybe then courtesy and common sense will prevail. Or at least, maybe those businesses without them won’t.

Senryu: I saw everything…

A nice senryu, and a cool b&w picture from a snowstorm. Also an old rant.



I saw everything,

as if to reach a grand close,

pause – and pose – perfect.



So I post most, or at least some of these poems to Helium, a content website. They recently sent one back to my workshop saying it was a Senryu, not a Haiku, and that I had posted it in the wrong area… I’m not stubborn and ranting, or anything like that. A Haiku is more often about nature, and a Senryu about human nature, but the difference is about that far. Both also adhere to very flexible rules. Poetry isn’t very set in stone in my opinion, like grammar, no matter what anyone says. Even spelling differs slightly depending on where you call your neighborhood, or neighbourhood.

But Helium is dogged on qualifying submissions correctly, as they’ve gotten me a few times for slightly improper syllabic structure and off-topic-ed-ness. Ah, well, At…

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Wikipedia needs our help?

I logged onto Wikipedia to read about “kinesthetic learning”, this being of extreme importance at 6am after an all-nighter, and I was very taken aback to see a message from the staff asking for donations. Apparently Wikipedia, as wonderfully useful and used as it is, being nonprofit and fueled by donations, is in a time of need.

I donated a modest yet generous amount. If I could donate more I would. The only reason they need money is because they’re too awesome to put ads on their pages! They want to keep the site pure and informative with no distracting ads.

Here’s the link:

Support Wikipedia

I’m sure anything will help. If you’ve used Wikipedia in the past you know how convenient it is. Don’t let it go away!