Studious…

Gah, I’m so tired, but there’s so much to take in.

I’ve been doing alright writing a haiku semi-daily. I’ve even uploaded them to Helium.com and made a spectacular six cents. I can see that coming to a head-way in the next five to ten years. That’s a joke, in case it gets lost in translation.

I’ve got so much I want to read and write about, so much to study, so much good anime to watch. And there’s work, can’t forget that. Work is actually the most manageable part of my life. I think it’s my hobbies that are going to work me to death. I studied Japanese verb conjugation for about five hours today, no exaggeration necessary. I started writing sentences and, boom, 5 hours later I’ve conjugated half a book and watched half a season of Code Geas (good anime).

But you know how I think? I think I should have been studying, been writing and reading, been working this hard a long time ago. I should already know Spanish, I should already have written a hundred thousand haikus. I’m so far behind because I spent too long figuring it all out, getting my head straight, wrapping my head around the professional world and what it meant to be a writhing, striving human being. I feel so stupid for not realizing, life is about self-improvement and understanding.

At least for me it is. I just want to understand.

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